Parenting teens… 5 strategies to ride the rollercoaster.
Teenagers are often seen as a difficult age group to understand and interact with. They are going through a lot of changes and transitions, physically, emotionally, and socially, which can make them moody, irritable, and unpredictable. However, understanding teenagers is key to having a healthy and positive relationship with them.
One of the most important things to understand about teenagers is that their brains are still developing. This means that they are still learning how to process emotions, make decisions, and regulate their behaviour. As a result, they may struggle with impulsivity, emotional outbursts, and poor decision-making skills. As a parent or caregiver, it's important to be patient and understanding with them, even when they make mistakes or act out.
Another thing to keep in mind is that teenagers are going through a period of self-discovery and identity formation. They are trying to figure out who they are, what they believe in, and where they fit in the world. This can lead to conflicts with parents or caregivers, especially if there are differences in values or beliefs. It's important to give teenagers the space and support they need to explore their identity and make their own choices, while also setting clear boundaries and expectations.
Peer relationships are also very important to teenagers, and they may place a lot of value on fitting in and being accepted by their peers. This can lead to social pressures and conflicts, such as bullying, exclusion, and peer pressure to engage in risky behaviors. It's important to help teenagers develop positive peer relationships and teach them how to stand up for themselves and others in a respectful and assertive way.
Raising a teenager is hard…
But, being a teenager is hard too.
5 strategies to ride the rollercoaster of parenting teens…
Connect before you correct: Before you try to correct your teen's behavior, take the time to connect with them emotionally. This will help them feel heard and understood, which can make them more receptive to your guidance.
Use "yes, and" instead of "no, but": Instead of shutting down your teen's ideas and opinions, try to validate them and build on them. This will help your teen feel respected and heard.
Embrace their novelty seeking: Teens are wired to seek novelty and risk-take. It is important parents understand that this is part of adolescent development, and not just your teen trying to trigger you. If you can find ways to encourage the thirst for new and exciting things with some level of safety, they may be less likely to take bigger risks without your awareness.
Help your teen develop self-awareness: Encourage your teen to explore their own thoughts and feelings, and help them develop a sense of self-awareness. This can help them make better decisions and develop stronger relationships, particularly when navigating tricky areas like peer relationships on social media.
Encourage independence: While it can be scary to let your teen make their own decisions, it's important to encourage independence and help them develop their own sense of autonomy.
Teen Therapy & Parent Education Sessions
The Dawn works with teens and their families to support this challenging transition into adulthood.
In therapy with teens we can look at:
developing awareness of emotions and skills in regulation of challenging emotions such as anxiety, anger, shame and grief
building skills for respectful relationships
managing distress and risky behaviours such as self-harm and substance use
exploration of identity
a confidential space to understand and address impacts of any trauma and/or bullying
managing mental health concerns, stress and building resilience
Whilst therapy can be helpful for teens and adolescence, it is often only one hour per week which the counsellor has to be present with your teen. Empowering parents with information and strategies to support their teen can be incredibly helpful for family dynamics. The Dawn also offers parent education sessions alongside the therapy work completed with teens.
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Written by Nicole Staats
Principal Counsellor - The Dawn