Respond instead of react! 5 ways to manage triggers…
Avoiding your triggers is not healing…
Healing happens when you are triggered, but you are able to move through the pain and discomfort so that instead of the trigger being in the driving seat of your life, YOU ARE!
What is a trigger?
A trigger is a term that is used to describe something that happens right before the onset of an emotional response. There is always a reason for an emotion, but sometimes it can be hard to see or name what the trigger was. Learning about triggers can help us gain a better understanding of our emotions, and not fear them as much.
Triggers can be both external, such as an event in the environment (like the onset of a worldwide pandemic!), or the things other people do and say. Triggers can also be internal. Yes, we can be triggered by our own thoughts, behaviours or bodily reactions.
The problem with triggers…
The challenging thing about being triggered, is not only that we have to experience a difficult emotion, but often we also feel an urge to act in a way that is not always helpful or skillful in the moment. Triggers can cause us to harm ourselves and others we care about in both the immediate moment and in the long term.
Some of these actions may include:
having an angry outburst
saying something nasty to someone we care about
withdrawing and isolating ourselves
turning to alcohol or other substances
self-harm
binge eating
engaging in risky behaviours such as driving recklessly
5 tips to manage triggers skillfully!
Becoming aware of our triggers and learning to manage them skillfully can take time. Of course we are all human, and some triggers and emotions will get away from us, but overall if we can resource ourselves with more options to manage triggers and distress we can feel more empowered.
Here are 5 suggestions to respond instead of react to triggers:
Embrace the STOP button!
When you feel that rise of emotion, whether it be anger, envy, fear, or hurt… STOP. Take a moment or a step back. The old you has acted on every urge that has come up from an emotion. Not this time, your emotions do not run the show anymore, this time you are going to stop and pause, and observe what is happening within for you. See if you can name what it is you are exactly feeling.
Self-soothe with your senses!
The body is a wise vessel and she has in built mechanisms to help you through triggering moments. Your body and mind love being soothed by the senses… When feeling distressed:
find comfort through something soft to TOUCH or self-massage
inhale a calming or pleasant aroma to SMELL
put your favourite music on to HEAR or try and listen for 3 sounds in your environment
take a walk outside and observe colours and textures you can SEE
enjoy a warm drink to TASTE
Check the Facts!
Many emotions are actually set off by our thoughts and interpretations of events, and not by events themselves. Most of us are guilty of running away with unhelpful thoughts and feelings and creating scenarios in our head of what someone thinks of us, or what someone will do that are not based in the facts of what we observed. CHECKING THE FACTS and exploring other possible options can be helpful to reality check the trigger we experienced in the moment
Change your body chemistry!
Ever noticed when you have been triggered by something your body is not okay? Many people experiencing a racing heart, sweaty palms, chest pains, headaches, or physical pain when intense emotions are triggered. Responding to the body’s physiology in that moment can be more helpful than trying to combat the thought train that is likely running a million miles an hour. Having a cold shower or using an ice pack can be great ways of cooling your body temperature, so the emotions and thoughts follow.
Get support!
Understanding and managing triggers is no easy job. Often we have had traumatic and difficult experiences across our lifespan which lay a blueprint for increased sensitivity to being triggered, having strong emotional responses, and unskillful coping mechanisms.
A trained counsellor or therapist can be the best place to understand your story, yourself and work on strategies that support you to feel like you are the one in control of your life, not the experiences of the past!
Reach out to The Dawn now or when you are ready. We will be more than willing to walk this journey with you.
Written by Nicole Staats
Principal Counsellor - The Dawn